2013년 11월 25일 월요일

About 'espn sports science'|ESPN's Sport Science looks at Alabama, LSU defenses | al.com







About 'espn sports science'|ESPN's Sport Science looks at Alabama, LSU defenses | al.com








In               all               my               years               of               watching               sports,               one               of               the               things               I've               noticed               is               that               many               players               who               have               the               sweetest               swings,               jump               shots,               throwing               arms               or               pair               of               hands               were               at               the               end               of               the               line               when               verbal               skills               were               being               passed               out.

The               on-field               feats               of               derring-do               often               turned               into               the               feets               in               mouth               when               athletes               tried               to               tell               us               how               they               did               what               they               did.

In               fact,               most               of               these               sports               quotes               selected               were               made               by               great               players               or               athletes.

Many               of               our               greatest               athletes               and               coaches               have               had               the               ability               to               express               themselves               coherently               roughly               equal               to               the               ability               of               Mario               Mendoza               to               hit               a               baseball,               Renaldo               Nehemiah's               ability               to               catch               a               football,               and               Ed               Biles'               skills               in               leading               their               team               to               victory.

Ed               who,               you               ask?

My               point               exactly.
               When               it               comes               to               dumb               quotes,               of               course               the               world               of               sports               does               not               have               a               monopoly.

The               former               President               of               the               United               States,               George               W.

Bush,               had               an               uncanny               ability               to               leave               listeners               scratching               their               heads,               wondering               what               it               was               the               man               just               tried               to               say.
               But               this               article               is               about               dumb               sports               quotes,               so               as               Bush               might               say,               "upon               further               adieu,               here               is               our               extinguished               list"               of               the               20               funniest               sports               quotes.
               The               so-called               "sweet               science"               has               had               more               than               its               share               of               malaprops               spoken               by               many               boxers,               trainers,               and               promoters.

Some               of               the               greatest               sports               quotes               come               from               the               fight               game.



               Do               They               have               Extradition               There?
               Fighter               Mike               Tyson's               reply               to               a               query               about               what               he               would               do               when               he               hung               up               the               gloves:               "fade               into               Bolivian,               I               guess."               

               How               Many               Fingers?
               Trainer               Lou               Duva               on               his               sport:               "you               can               sum               up               this               sport               in               two               words,               you               never               know."               
               

               How               Long               Does               It               Take               This               Guy               To               Watch               60               Minutes?
               Boxing               promoter               Don               King:               "He's               the               Man               of               the               Hour,               at               this               particular               moment."               
               

               But               Does               He               Speak               Prada?
               Another               Don               King               hair-raising               gem               when               it               comes               to               sports               quotes:               "He               (Julio               Cesar               Chavez)               speaks,               English,               Spanish,               and               he's               bilingual."
               Play               It               Again,               Pablo?
               Former               New               Jersey               Net               roundballer               Chris               Morris               was               trying               to               impress               a               date               in               a               swanky               piano               bar,               so               he               asked               the               piano               player               "how               about               playing               some               Picasso?"
               Just               Say               Uncle!
               North               Carolina               State               Wolfpack               center               Chuck               Nevitt               seemed               unusually               nervous               at               practice               one               day.

Upon               being               asked               by               Jim               Valvano               what               was               wrong,               Nevitt               replied:               "my               sister               is               having               a               baby               and               I               don't               know               if               I'm               going               to               be               an               Aunt               or               an               Uncle."
               The               Cover               Charge               There               Is               Too               High               Anyway
               Upon               returning               from               a               trip               to               Greece,               Shaquille               O'Neal               was               asked               if               he               went               to               the               Parthenon.

Shaq               answered:               "               I               don't               remember               what               clubs               we               went               to."
               Double               Dribbling?
               Charles               Shackleford               of               N.C.

State               in               response               to               a               question               about               whether               he               was               right               or               left               handed:               "right               hand               or               left,               it               doesn't               matter,               I'm               amphibious."
               Does               Faber               College               Have               Football?
               Ohio               State               QB               Bobby               Hoying:               "I'm               really               happy               for               Coach               Cooper               and               the               guys               who               have               been               here               six               or               seven               years,               especially               our               seniors."
               Counting               Chickens?
               Heisman               winner               George               Rogers               of               the               South               Carolina               Gamecocks               on               his               season               goal:               "I               want               to               rush               for               1,000               or               1,500               yards,               whichever               comes               first."
               But               Was               He               As               Smart               As               Timothy               Edison?
               Joe               Theisman               of               ESPN               on               a               Sunday               Night               Football               telecast:               "I               don't               think               genius               is               a               term               that               applies               to               football               coaches.

Geniuses               are               guys               like               Norman               Einstein."
               Enquiring               Minds               Want               To               Know!
               Former               Indianapolis               Colts               coach               Ron               Meyer               on               his               staff's               chances               of               leading               the               Colts               to               the               Promised               Land:               "It's               not               like               we               came               down               from               Mount               Sinai               with               the               tabloids."
               Keep               That               Helmet               On!
               Former               Steeler               coach               Bill               Cowher               on               the               accusation               that               his               team               bent               NFL               regulations:               "We're               not               attempting               to               circumcise               the               rules."               No               word               on               whether               Cowher               resurfaces               with               the               Washington               Foreskins.
               Dinner               With               Andre?
               Retired               Cub               slugger               Andre               Dawson               on               the               need               to               be               a               role               model:               "I               want               all               the               kids               to               copulate               me."
               Where               Is               The               Amazing               Kreskin               When               You               Need               Him?
               Pedro               Guerrero               on               the               press:               "sometimes               they               write               what               I               say,               not               what               I               mean."
               Three's               Company
               Former               Yankee               centerfielder               Mickey               Rivers               on               his               relationship               with               management:               "me,               Billy               (Martin)               and               George               (Steinbrenner)               are               two               of               a               kind".
               But               Did               It               Come               With               His               And               His               Towels?
               According               to               former               Boston               Redsox               outfielder               Mike               Greenwell:               "I'm               just               a               four-wheel-drive               pickup               kind               of               guy,               and               so's               my               wife."               Maybe               Greenwell               was               a               Massachusetts               man               before               his               time.
               Have               Perm               Will               Travel               
               Atlanta               Braves               broadcaster               and               longtime               Dodger               pitcher               Don               Sutton,               known               for               his               80's               "half-fro"               permed               hairdo:               "I'm               the               most               loyal               player               money               can               buy."
               Back               To               The               Future?
               ABA               and               NBA               player               Marvin               "Bad               News"               Barnes               apparently               didn't               get               the               concept               of               time               zones,               maybe               thinking               they               were               a               variation               of               the               2-3               or               matchup               zone.

When               told               that               his               team               flight               would               depart               Louisville,               KY               at               9:00               A.M.

(EST)               and               arrive               in               St.

Louis,               MO               at               8:59               A.M.

(CST)               Barnes               told               team               radio               guy               Bob               Costas:               "I               don't               know               about               you,               but               I               ain't               gettin'               in               no               time               machine."
               What's               Their               Customer               Satisfaction               Policy?
               Lastly,               no               list               of               funny               or               dumb               sports               quotes               would               be               complete               without               hearing               from               Yogi               Berra.

The               man               who               gave               us               such               gems               as               "nobody               goes               to               that               place               any               more,               it's               too               crowded,"               "it               gets               late               early               there,"               and               "it's               deja               vu               all               over               again,"               also               had               this               one:               when               asked               by               his               wife               about               his               choice               of               burial               sites,               Yogi               responded:               "Surprise               me."






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